The Unexpected

So, I knew things were going to change with pregnancy. I knew things were going to change day by day. I expected some exhaustion, some nausea, some grouchy... all par for the course stuff people tell you about.

Some things have been shocking, though!

#1 The gassy... I'm not just talking a couple toots after chili here. I'm talking burping/farting/gurgling all freaking day. Regardless of what's ingested. The gassy, for realz. maybe it's just me, IDK, but I could power a small town with methane these days.

#2 The crampy... Here I thought something was just wrong, but no. Very normal, I'm hearing. The cramping comes and goes and I feel like AF is coming a couple months late, but no... Doctor says "No blood no worries" I say "But for real with the cramps" and he says "Yes, I know, please notice the MD at the end of my name and the fact that you call me doctor, normal, quit freaking out."

#3 The horny... this is a new one, but for real, the horny. More like adolescent boy crazy/the horny. It's insane, I have had shexy dreams every night about some pretty boy (or man, or chick) every feaking night for like the last two weeks. Normally it's the pretty Robert Pattinson or Ryan Reynolds. Seriously, these men want me, at 3am, from afar, or so says my dreams.