OK, so I'm still not over my whole bad attitude over round one going badly. Why is this so hard for me to accept and get over? I knew from the jump chances weren't high for a first round success. I'll tell you why it's so hard, the freaking hcg shot! They gave me a shot that made me feel pregnant right up until time to test at which point I stopped feeling it, and was (of course) not knocked up. I call this kind of treatment cruel and unusual. It's as if some evil old man (in my head he looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, or as Big C says the Stimpsons) is sitting in an oversized office full of bizarre things like body parts in jars, and pickled piglets hatching plans to further torment infertile women. I can see him scratching his head and thinking aloud to his Igor like assistant"What's worse than not getting pregnant? Miscarriage, that's worse... I've got it! Make her think she's pregnant, convince her, then at just the right time rip it away so that she thinks not only is she infertile, she's also insane. Yes, that'll do nicely..."
So, anyhizzle... Here we are one cycle and $500 down. Yes, I know that's not big money when talking infertility, but it's big money to me. Don't get me wrong, ifins we get that elusive BFP and all goes well the last thing on my mind will be the price tag. But until then it's a little like paying for disappointment. Scratch that, it's exactly like paying for disappointment. Since disappointment is obviously not the goal of the treatments, it's doubly disappointing.
Wow, I'm just all kinds of negative, yet again. No wonder nobody reads this! I'm thinking a major shift in perception is required here. More on this to come...
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