I went out with G and Big C this weekend and found out... the holidays are here. I knew they were coming, but if the mall has anything to say about it, they are actually full on here. That wouls be fine and all, but I'm not ready. Not even close. For one thing, I was really hoping to be pregnant by Christmas. That doesn't look too good, now. But that isn't the main reason I'm not ready.
The main reason is that my family is a hot mess right now and if nothing changes we won't be seeing them for the holidays. G is quite adament that we won't be visiting this year, actually. I have rather conflicted feelings about this. I want to create great family memories for Big C and Little C; however, I have no control over the rest of my family. But also, I'm so hurt by them all right now, that even being in the same room is painful. As it stands I will be having holiday dinner at my house, and anyone who cares to come is invited. I hate to have to be that way, but there's no other choice at this point.
This would be so much easier if we were out of state...
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