Well, I had my day 5 baseline ultrasound today. The ladies showed up for the camera and smiled pretty showing off 10 nice little follicles. That is more than double what we had at this point in December, so that's good news. In December, which I didn't document at all because I'm a bad blogger, I only got one mature egg. So we're hoping more follies means more eggs, and I only need one good one.
Right, so my U/S nurse was super chipper this morning and she's all "Think positive, they're just like little plants, talk to them and make them grow" and do you know her good mood rubbed off. I might have to stop by there on my way to work just to get some of Dorinda's contagious good mood!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Feeling Hopeless
and bitter, and grouchy, and restless, and, and, and did I mention I'm on 150mg of Clomid? I know it's not the hormoniest of hormones, but I'm blaming my bad mood on it anyway, because I can.
So, yes, I'm feeling quite hopeless today. I've got a date with a wand on Wednesday and I'm sure it'll be all "Yay!" but I don't feel all "Yay!" Every other time things go all "Yay!" they don't turn out fine, and isn't that what's important? Frankly, I don't care if all of the preliminary's look spotty if the end result is a baybee. But, who am I kidding, right? Oh, well, best not to get the internets thinking I'm more depressed than I am.
So, yes, I'm feeling quite hopeless today. I've got a date with a wand on Wednesday and I'm sure it'll be all "Yay!" but I don't feel all "Yay!" Every other time things go all "Yay!" they don't turn out fine, and isn't that what's important? Frankly, I don't care if all of the preliminary's look spotty if the end result is a baybee. But, who am I kidding, right? Oh, well, best not to get the internets thinking I'm more depressed than I am.
She did what, now?
One of my friends in Lexington sent me a news article today to ask if I knew the jackass in question, because the incident happened near my home, and I just could not help but to comment on the situation. So, what's the situation?
A woman, who I will not name (but whose name you can read here: http://www.wpxi.com/irresistible/18831330/detail.html) was pulled over near my home for breast feeding her infant, while talking on her cell phone, while driving her other children to school. When questioned the woman said that she would take the officer's advice under consideration, but would do it again if she thought she needed to. That really happened.
Now I'm going to skip my normal bout of, "this crazy broad can have kids, I'm pumping myself full of hormones and contemplating the insane costs of IVF but, this irresponsible, reckless, crappy excuse for a mother can have kids all day long" and go straight to "WTF!" Well, maybe I won't skip it. But shit, I'm bitter.
I guess what bothers me isn't just that she was nursing and driving, although that's enough. It's that she was nursing and talking on her cell phone and caring for other children and driving. Either this woman really doesn't have a handle on time management, or she just doesn't care. I just can't fathom the phone conversation that was so important that it had to take place while nursing and driving. I also can't imagine how hungry the baby must have been to have made it necessary to nurse right then. I'm not advocating letting a kid starve by any means, but c'mon, was waiting 10 minutes any more likely to kill the poor thing than the whole nursing/talking/driving situation? I'm tending to think, probably not. Were the other kids running so late for school she couldn't stop for a few minutes before walking out the door? I haven't even started on the endangerment to the other kids in the car.
This brings me back to my friend, who has a theory... The world would be a better place if everyone had to take a pill to have a baby, rather than have to take one to prevent having a baby. I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone (well, except maybe this broad), but I'm starting to see why she feels this way.
A woman, who I will not name (but whose name you can read here: http://www.wpxi.com/irresistible/18831330/detail.html) was pulled over near my home for breast feeding her infant, while talking on her cell phone, while driving her other children to school. When questioned the woman said that she would take the officer's advice under consideration, but would do it again if she thought she needed to. That really happened.
Now I'm going to skip my normal bout of, "this crazy broad can have kids, I'm pumping myself full of hormones and contemplating the insane costs of IVF but, this irresponsible, reckless, crappy excuse for a mother can have kids all day long" and go straight to "WTF!" Well, maybe I won't skip it. But shit, I'm bitter.
I guess what bothers me isn't just that she was nursing and driving, although that's enough. It's that she was nursing and talking on her cell phone and caring for other children and driving. Either this woman really doesn't have a handle on time management, or she just doesn't care. I just can't fathom the phone conversation that was so important that it had to take place while nursing and driving. I also can't imagine how hungry the baby must have been to have made it necessary to nurse right then. I'm not advocating letting a kid starve by any means, but c'mon, was waiting 10 minutes any more likely to kill the poor thing than the whole nursing/talking/driving situation? I'm tending to think, probably not. Were the other kids running so late for school she couldn't stop for a few minutes before walking out the door? I haven't even started on the endangerment to the other kids in the car.
This brings me back to my friend, who has a theory... The world would be a better place if everyone had to take a pill to have a baby, rather than have to take one to prevent having a baby. I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone (well, except maybe this broad), but I'm starting to see why she feels this way.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Clomid, again...
Everybody batten down the hatches. The Clomid cyclone is getting ready to take off!
OK, it wasn't that bad last time I used it, but I did get a little bitchy (beware...). I know, hard to imagine me being bitchy and unreasonable. HA! Poor G, I've been a bitchy mess for like a week now, and it's going to get worse, right when it should be getting better.
OK, it wasn't that bad last time I used it, but I did get a little bitchy (beware...). I know, hard to imagine me being bitchy and unreasonable. HA! Poor G, I've been a bitchy mess for like a week now, and it's going to get worse, right when it should be getting better.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
It wasn't meant to be, and other nonsense fertile people say
One of my friends from childhood, with whom I stay in contact, had a miscarriage this week. I feel terribly for her. Thinking about her and her experiences this week has reminded me of all the insanely stupid things fertile people say when they learn of either a miscarriage or other infertility issues. For this reason, I'm posting a guide of shit not to say to a woman who's just lost a child, and the response they should give you if you're stupid enough to say any of the following things. This also applies to general infertility as well...
1) It just wasn't meant to be: So, in effect you're saying that all of the pregnancies that end in abortion were meant to be. All of the children born into abusive homes and bad family situations, they were meant to be. You were meant to be, but the thing I wanted and loved above all else in the world wasn't meant to be. I don't think I want to talk to you anymore.
2) God has a plan or It's in God's hands, or anything else insinuating God doesn't want you to have a baby: Translation... God wanted my baby to die? God doesn't think I'd be a good mother, but the abortions and abused children they are God's plan? You must worship a different God than I do...
3) You'll get pregnant again, or it'll happen, just wait: I don't want to get pregnant again, I want my baby, the one who's precious little life has ended far too soon. It's not like a puppy, you can't just go get another one. There is not replacement for the one that died.
4) At least you weren't further along: What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Seriously. My baby was somehow less of a baby because he/she was only 10 weeks gestation instead of 20? Without a doubt it's much harder to deal with a miscarriage after you've heard the heartbeat, but seriously, do babies get more real somehow as they get bigger? Just because you didn't love and care for and feel it growing doesn't mean I didn't, asshole.
OK, that is my reaction to these comments, although from speaking with others in similar situations, I can say I do not stand alone in feeling this way... So what do you say to a woman who's precious child has died before she's even had the chance to hold him/her?
"Wow, I am so sorry. I know there is nothing I can do to erase the pain of losing a child, but if you need anything, I'm here for you. If you want to talk, I'm glad to listen, and if you don't, that's OK, too. I am so sorry"
That's it.
1) It just wasn't meant to be: So, in effect you're saying that all of the pregnancies that end in abortion were meant to be. All of the children born into abusive homes and bad family situations, they were meant to be. You were meant to be, but the thing I wanted and loved above all else in the world wasn't meant to be. I don't think I want to talk to you anymore.
2) God has a plan or It's in God's hands, or anything else insinuating God doesn't want you to have a baby: Translation... God wanted my baby to die? God doesn't think I'd be a good mother, but the abortions and abused children they are God's plan? You must worship a different God than I do...
3) You'll get pregnant again, or it'll happen, just wait: I don't want to get pregnant again, I want my baby, the one who's precious little life has ended far too soon. It's not like a puppy, you can't just go get another one. There is not replacement for the one that died.
4) At least you weren't further along: What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Seriously. My baby was somehow less of a baby because he/she was only 10 weeks gestation instead of 20? Without a doubt it's much harder to deal with a miscarriage after you've heard the heartbeat, but seriously, do babies get more real somehow as they get bigger? Just because you didn't love and care for and feel it growing doesn't mean I didn't, asshole.
OK, that is my reaction to these comments, although from speaking with others in similar situations, I can say I do not stand alone in feeling this way... So what do you say to a woman who's precious child has died before she's even had the chance to hold him/her?
"Wow, I am so sorry. I know there is nothing I can do to erase the pain of losing a child, but if you need anything, I'm here for you. If you want to talk, I'm glad to listen, and if you don't, that's OK, too. I am so sorry"
That's it.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Baby Shower Season is Upon Us
So, I had this whole long bitchy post written about one of my cousins and her baby shower. I'm not going. I'll send a gift. The rest is. not. my. business. I need to quit dwelling on other people fucking up their kids and lives and just concentrate on my little family in progress. It's not selfish, it's self preservation, and if they can't get that, fuck 'em.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
WHEW!
So, new doc called me today. Apparently, she has been given the impression that I was worried. Why on earth would she think that? Not possibly because she said I might have cancer, then I'm anemic then... ... ... ... ...? Anyhizzle, she called today and apologized for the nurse not having full info last Friday. She also said definitely not cancer. WHEW! and again I say WHEW!
Now, the rational side of my brain knew that was the likely answer, and although I feel a bit of an ass now, I'm glad I was prepped for bad (while hoping for good). If I'd been all "everything's gonna be peachy" then she'd called and said "oh yeah, you've got the cancer" that would have been way worse than how it went down. So, what's that word I'm looking for? Right, WHEW!
I wish she'd have called with this news a little sooner, but whatevs, I'm not going to get pick snickety now. I'm feeling a little too, WHEW! to care about the little schtuff.
Here in southern Ohio it's rainy and gray and cold, and I've never been happier to be in Ohio in February!
Now, the rational side of my brain knew that was the likely answer, and although I feel a bit of an ass now, I'm glad I was prepped for bad (while hoping for good). If I'd been all "everything's gonna be peachy" then she'd called and said "oh yeah, you've got the cancer" that would have been way worse than how it went down. So, what's that word I'm looking for? Right, WHEW!
I wish she'd have called with this news a little sooner, but whatevs, I'm not going to get pick snickety now. I'm feeling a little too, WHEW! to care about the little schtuff.
Here in southern Ohio it's rainy and gray and cold, and I've never been happier to be in Ohio in February!
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